Rejected After the First Date

There is no worse feeling than to go out on a First Date with someone you like and not have them correspond with you afterwards. No phone calls, no text, no email, no nothing. If you really like the person it can fill your head with plenty of absurd yet real questions:

· I thought we had a good time, why won’t she call?
· Did I do something wrong?
· Was my hair to short?
· Did I not have enough money?
· Was it my teeth?
· Was it because I have kids?
· Was it my car?
· Did she not like my humor?
· Did she find me attractive?
· Was I not intellectual enough?
· Did I talk too much?
· Was I too forward?

Don’t think you are alone. There are a lot of people that think this way!

When I was younger, if a female ignored me after the first date, it devastated me. Now as an adult, it still bothers me but not at much. Things have changed, I have changed.

Now it just bothers my EGO:

· Doesn’t she realize how wonderful I am?
· She doesn’t know what she is missing!
· She will be sorry!
· She will realize later on down the road, she made a mistake!
· I may not have a lot of money but I am a Millionaire on this inside and I have a personality that money cannot buy!

I think the funniest part of all is that there are a lot of people who practice no communication after the first date because they didn’t feel a connection with the other person. What if you made a simple honest courtesy call that went something like this: “Hello Date, this is Frazier. I just wanted to let you know I had a nice time with you but don’t feel like our personalities meshed. So, if you don’t hear from me that’s why. I hope we can be friends and chat every now and then. I hope you have a terrific day.” All you have to do is be direct and honest and it will blow people’s doors off. Don’t believe me? Try it.

This is why we date right? We date to experiment and not all dates are going to work out. Some people are not going to have what we are looking for in a partner. This is one of the great things about the Internet is that you can find a lot of things out about the other person before you put your feet on That Dance Floor.

We Humans are funny are we not? We are all wired differently yet in similar ways. We get upset for reason of rejection. Nobody likes rejection. Heck, I was upset a girl I took out on a date wasn’t paying attention to me after the date and I didn’t really like her anyways! I just wanted to feed my EGO and get some attention! I am glad that didn’t happen.

The real thing I am getting to is that when a date does not work out it’s for a reason. I firmly believe it’s because God has a better partner for you. Either the person you went on the date with deserves better or you deserve better. Or maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship at the time!

Your partner will also depend on how spiritually fit you are. Do you keep going out with people that don’t treat you well? Boss you? Are controlling? Abusive? If your demons in your closet are not cleaned out then you will for sure attract people to you with demons in their closet too.
Damn, I wish I could talk about this stuff on the radio because I know there are lots of people out there that agree and disagree with me. There are people that I could help and could help me. It would make good conversation but for right now this is it.

My friend Shannon says “Go on the date, have a good time and if it doesn’t work out, you’ve made a new friend.” I like that quote. If you are Spiritually Connected, Comfortable With Yourself, Cleaned Out Some Demons, And practice true love for yourself and the other person and look out for their best interests too, it will be okay if you don’t get called back after the first date.

R. Frazier Hughes Jr.

frazierhughes.com